Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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