he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
