is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
