i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
