'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
