Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
