I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
