Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
