Do you still have your period?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
