brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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