Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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