I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
