So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
