I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
