i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
