I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
