i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
