So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
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Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
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Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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