Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Alive.
So much puke
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
