Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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