low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
