You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
