after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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