I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Let's get the cat blown out
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
