so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
