I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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