Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize