You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
