So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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