Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Someone came in the potted fern
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
