left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
