maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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