PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize