I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
