The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize