Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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