Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
