Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
PANTIES FOUND
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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