dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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