Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
