Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
