I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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