R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
