so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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