I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
