god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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