Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
