would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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