Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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