The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize