I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
