How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
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Did I show you my penis last night?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
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Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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