I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
