My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
