New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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