M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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