Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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