Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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