I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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