I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
time to smoke my breakfast
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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