Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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