No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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